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Want to make millions online? I’ll tell you a little secret … May 12, 2008

Filed under: making money online — Nicole @ 6:31 pm
Tags: , ,

I broke up with my digs mate this weekend. I just wanted to see what it would be like. How she would re-act. If there would be any tears or dramatic pleas. “Oh please, don’t do this Nicole. We are made for each other. I’ll do anything for another chance,” I imagined her saying. Well, not quite since we have never nor do we have any intentions of dating each other. But I still did break up with her. That part is true. Though it was more for a laugh really. Some harmless fun. After all I broke this news to her over email.

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See, I came across this website which generates a break up email based on a form you fill out. It’s a free service and so I decided to test it by breaking up with my digs mate. As any normal person who comes across such a gem of a website would do. Based on how I filled the form out this is the email that was generated which I subsequently emailed to her:

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Dear digs mate

I’m writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. I don’t know how to break it to you, but I found someone else to replace you. You know what they say: out with the old, in with the new! The wise Righteous Brothers wrote a song called “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.” You might want to listen to it a few times, because I’ve lost that loving feeling. I don’t really do the whole long distance relationship thing. New area code, new market, and it’s time for me to go shopping.

Sometimes you need to take things a bit slower, and just have fun. Unfortunately, this relationship is becoming too serious for my tastes.

Even though our relationship is at its end, I hope we can still be friends. It’s not you, it’s me. Really. You’re more like a sibling to me, you know? It may be a typical line, but it’s true: we just aren’t meant for each other. I’m sure we’ll see each other again, if you’re ok with it. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.

Wish it could have worked out,
Nicole

———

Of course we both had a good laugh about it. It seems ridiculous to me. Breaking up with someone over email. And getting a website to generate the message. Who does that? It seems people do though. And some are even willing to pay to have others do the dirty work for them.

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  • Breakupservice.com breaks the news to the person being dumped either in the form of a letter or a phone call. And all this for only $50.But wait, there’s more. You can even request that the mediator meets the soon to be dumped somewhere to give them a gift as a sort of peace-offering. How thoughtful.

  • Justbreakup.com sells break up letters to suit various occasions. These are then sent, as part of a handmade parcel, anywhere in the USA.

  • DatingIntervention offers three services. You can get them to check-up on the status of your relationship if you are worried about mixed signals from your partner. Or maybe you want an easy out and don’t have the chutzpah to dump the person in person. DatingIntervention can do the dumping for you for only $9.99. You are also given the option of deciding how amiable you want the break-up to be. Lastly, they offer a make-up service to reconcile any relationship which has gone wrong be it between lovers or even family members.
  • Divorce-online allows you to get an online divorce without the expense of a lawyer
  • In Japan there are break-up agencies, many of which can be found online, called wakaresaseya. They are used to end relationships and marriages or to help win back a lover’s affections. Some have even hired one of these agencies to fire an employee. Fees range from $12 000 to $ 15 000.

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It doesn’t end there though. It seems there is an online industry which has developed simply to exploit people contemplating or going through a break-up. And yes I mean exploit.

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After a break-up you’re often left with sentimental flotsam like rings or perhaps a pair of earrings. And what are you meant to do with all this stuff? It would be emotional suicide to continue wearing any of it. And yet burying it at the bottom of a box or giving it away somehow seems callous So why not make some money out of your heartbreak?

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It may not make you a millionaire but you can definitely make a profit selling your break-up memorabilia online. On Ex-boyfriend Jewelry (and yes that is what the website is called) you register the items you want to sell, you set the price and provide a brief explanation about the item and the break-up. And for those looking to buy jewelry, you could pick up an engagement ring for $1, 500. 00 from this site. But, I’m not sure what that might mean for you in terms of karma.

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Making money online from break ups seems to be the latest trend. Another website, Ex-cessories.com , which is similar to Ex-boyfriend Jewelry , also gives you the option to buy and sell items given by exes. “Don’t get mad … break even,” says the website. A novel idea.

———-

Then there is Smashing Katie. An online boutique which provides retail therapy to help you through your break-up:

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We understand the roller coaster of emotions one goes through during a breakup. We understand that breakups happen for various reasons. We understand that sometimes the decision is one-sided, mutual, or for those special breakups, there is a third party involved that “helped” in the process. Smashing Katie spawned from such a breakup where a real Katie was the inspiration.

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Here you can find things like a Get Back Out There Breakup Package . For $29.95 this includes a book with advice to you get back into the dating game as well as playful vouchers which you can use to claim things like hugs from friends. Or maybe you’re still at that angry-post break up stage and so the Call Her A Slut Mug may be more your cup of tea. This online boutique has quite a good variety and if nothing else is bound to make you laugh.

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What does all of this mean? Well, consider this. In 2005 Americans spent over R500 million on online dating services. Research suggests that the U.S. online dating industry will be worth $932 million by 2011. Online dating services are popular largely because they exploit a human need. There are even dating agencies in virtual reality spaces like Second Life, which says a lot.

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So you want to make millions online? Set up an easy to use; inexpensive yet efficient online break up service. A service which gets the job done without any mess or fuss. Maybe you could partner your break-up agency with an online dating agency. Or is that just heatless? It seems though, that making money online is about seeing a need and exploiting it no matter how heartless that may seem.

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3 Responses to “Want to make millions online? I’ll tell you a little secret …”

  1. funalaakie Says:

    I just checked out that website and created my own automatically generated Dear John letter. It’s so bad! And having a service whereby you charge people to do the breaking up for you is just so typically American!

    I think the worst break-ups are when the significant other doesn’t tell you face-to-face. Even worse is when they don’t give a genuine and sincere reason as to why they are breaking up with you.

    I spit on such heartless, money-making services!

    Kind regards
    <a href=”http://www.theinspectorgadget.blogspot.com”Inspector Gadget

  2. kelescheppers Says:

    breakups are always crappy. But paying someone to do it for you? That’s the definition of a coward. I agree Inspector Gadget, we should hold social classes on how to treat respect others.

  3. L Says:

    Well I know one thing if somebody had to break up with me the email system would not be that bad. I found it funny and laughter is the best medicine although I have a twisted sense of humour.

    There are lower ways to break up with somebody. The SMS is in my view the worst more so if its written in short text and with unhappy smilies.

    Talking about getting online services to do your dirty work. In South Korea and Japan where children are expected to work hard and get good marks there is a service that can help. If your parents are called in for your bad marks or parents evening all you do is full out a form on the internet and they will send you a person to pretend to be your mother or father.


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